Thursday, October 13, 2011

Nyquil (I Mean Calgon)-Take Me Away

Have you ever had one of those months nights when nothing seems to go your way? Last night was one of those nights for me. It started with Noah and this...

Just so you know he thought he saw a fire. On the concrete floor. Under the steel stairwell. I am going to get his eyes rechecked along with the hearing next time. 

Then, as if the fire wasn't enough... I forgot to leave Gabe's bag in the nursery. AND if you recall we are in the deep and dark depths of potty training. Um yeah. He pooped in his pants. AND no one could find me to tell me so those poor nursery helpers (shout out to ya Jeff and Candi) had to deal with it. At least they didn't have a Walmart bag with a hole in it.

After I got Gabe all ready to go home I turn around and see two more mischievous Squires' boys followed by an angry Royal Ambassador teacher. The look on his face should have been enough to send a blood clot straight to my brain. He said, in his deep voice..."Rachel I need to talk with you". I looked from Wil to Heyward and then to Gabe. Then I looked at Gabe's diaper bag and thought about those poopy underpants (and pants and socks and shoes) and asked that deep voiced Royal Ambassador teacher if he could possibly just call me because if he couldn't tell I was on the verge of a very large breakdown. (FYI I haven't gotten my call yet and honestly I still can't promise there won't be a coronary).

I got four of the five Squires' loaded into the car (plus a friend-who I will add was quite well behaved) and looked around for the fifth. Yeah NOWHERE to be found. Did you even need to guess? I screamed across the parking lot when I saw his little pop out of the door and then try to sneak back in and thoroughly humiliated myself. 
I got home and the artist formerly known as Gabe drew this for me...
on the kitchen floor...with a Sharpie. And I might add that he is a performance artist...he did it in the nude.

The last straw came when I did this...

That is a cup full of chocolate milk. You can't really tell but the majority ended up in between the counter and the stove. Just where you want all of your chocolate milk to end up.

I gave up and climbed into bed and turned on a rerun of Dance Moms to make the world go away. If you have never watched Dance Moms (and why you haven't is beyond me because it is trashy TV greatness) you may not know but the teacher ranks all of the girls in a pyramid every week with the best on the top of the pyramid on the top and the rest dwindling down below her. SO I have decided to do my own pyramid...

As you can see my pyramid is not based on who was the best performer of the night...more like who was in the most trouble.

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