Thursday, February 24, 2011

Things I Don't Want In My Kitchen or alternately titled Maybe I Should Put A Screen On That Window

Yesterday was a hard day. If you know why then you can certainly commiserate with me. I know time heals all wounds and obviously two years has certainly dulled the immediate pain but our shock and hurt and disbelief is still very real. I am playing Scarlett, which is my favorite game, and I will think about it tomorrow. Which would technically be today but since it is not today but tomorrow then I will think about it then. Can you follow that logic?  It's logic like that, that keeps me sane (almost).

Gabe and I spent the day at home just snuggling and watching Glee (cause you know that boy has some groove) and not doing laundry. Now about Glee... I was raised a true Southern Baptist Girl. I never spent my teenaged years doing what those kids on Glee were doing Tuesday night. I got drunk exactly once in high school. I just figured one time of throwing up (and more) in front of my father was quite enough for me. And let me just tell you, in case you have not ever experienced this for yourself, Grape Mad Dog 20/20 tastes bad enough going down...there are no words for it coming back up. I felt for dear Rachel on Glee...gray vomit in your hair would be enough for most girls to give up on the whole drinking issue. I speak from experience- even if it was just once. AND HOW ABOUT Ke$ha's (or my new favorite line from Glee Ke-dollar sign-ha) "Tic and also the Toc"? So wonderful. I almost felt like brushing my teeth with a bottle of's just the gray vomit you know. Let's just say Wil The Christian Music Police just happened to be away attending school while this episode of Glee was aired in the Squires' house. Would not have been good any other way.

It was a beautiful day and I opened the windows to air out the house (smells like dirty laundry imagine that). Now I should state that at one time all of my windows had screens on them. BUT with a houseful of boys doing things like building a miniature version of the Ho Chi Minh Trail in my back yard things like that seem to disappear very easily. I should have thought better of it but I opened it anyway. Take my word for it hind sight is 20/20! I saw it on the kitchen floor. I saw it there and didn't investigate. I am glad I didn't. Charles was the first to almost step on it. He was very calm. "Look there's a snake... in the kitchen" That was enough. I screamed...Gabe screamed...Charles looked at us with disdain. I am sorry. A snake. In my kitchen. Still moving. It was obviously a thoughtful gift brought to us by Maggie the cat. I am not an outdoorsie kind of person. As Noah has so beautifully informed me, I am not a redneck girl. I don't do snakes. Especially not in my kitchen.

If anybody out there is has some extra screens just hanging around...I would be very happy to take them off of your hands. I'll even trade you a snake chasing cat for it.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Bug, The Sneezing and The Excuses

I have had a bug...a bug in my stomach. It may have wanted a mustang. I am sneezing my head off. The air conditioning in my car has started working again and my laundry is piled to the ceiling. These are the loose ends I deal with daily! I will get to a nice juicy blog post when something happens that I can blog about...because unless you want to read some more about socks or laundry...that's all I got.

Thank you.

I will be here all week.

Friday, February 11, 2011


I haven't commented on Glee in quite a while. I think it is simply because I was abjectly opposed to some of story lines going on in prime time television. (Not enough to quit watching mind you...just enough to quit writing about it) My kids don't need to see girl lovin' or boy lovin' or boy/girl lovin' for that matter but thanks to the DVR they can still enjoy the ridiculously over produced numbers that make my heart soar! AND you know that is EXACTLY what Noah and Wil want to see. I am tremendously excited to tell you that Gabey Baby on the other hand LOVES the music. The other night when what's his face started singing Silly Loves Songs that boy got down! I am going to have to video him. I am a little ashamed to say that I have caught him singing "bah bah bah New York" a few times and I am thinking I MAY have watched the season premier a few too many times. 

So Wednesday night when May May picked up Gabe from his class he was and absolute mess (believe me it all comes back to Glee, I promise). Noah and Wil were already in my office and when Gabe joined them my heart just welled. With Joy, you may think...I am so lucky to have such wonderful children. With Pride,  you may think...These Squires' boys are so smart and handsome. Well you can just think pride and joy but the real answer was fear. My heart welled with fear....fear that children's services was on the way to arrest me for neglect. Gabe was missing a shoe, had yogurt all down his front, his hair was sticking up all over the place, his fly was down, his onsie was unbuttoned and sticking out of the front and the back (potty training you know, NOT) and to top it off the green and yellow stuff coming out of his nose was about the color of the inside of a dragonfly. Wil had painted at school and had paint on his fingernails and under his fingernails and up his nose and on the bottom of his boots and somehow in his belly button. Noah had not washed his hair in about 12 days (if you missed my status update his answer for this was, and I quote, "I try but when I ask my hair my hair say no. I can't wash the hair if the hair say no and it all your fault cause my hair too long and if my hair too long then it not dry and then the hair say no and I can't wash the hair. and it all your fault.") and his pants were pulled so far down that you could see his boxers (which he probably put on dirty because there are only three pair in the whole house that he will wear)and he would not quit talking about his back. "I hurted the back in dance and that teacher make me dance and I no like the dance and it a slow dance and it hurted my back so bad". If I heard about the back ONE MORE TIME I was going to take him to the doctor and demand them to fuse his spine.  They were a sight. I took a picture for prosperity.
Needless to say we did not stay for church. I just couldn't take it. 

AND THE BACK! My word the back. I still have not heard the end of the back. Noah got into the car yesterday and complained about his back. I finally made him show me what dance he was doing. I got a little excited when I saw his moves. He raised his arms over his head and turned to one side and then he turned to the other side. His hands were in a claw like position and being a child of the 80's I recognized it immediately! Thiller! How coincidental that Noah's middle school would be teaching the the exact same dance that was on Glee just 5 short nights ago. His Humanities teacher must be a musical theater nut too! AND I just happened to have it on the DVR still (because let's face it I would erase Wil's Kindergarten graduation before I would erase an episode of Glee) so I cued it up to the BIG moment. I gathered my children around me and pressed play. I just knew they were going to love it. Who could not love a bunch of zombies stomping around the football field in full makeup? I wish I could show you the face of my thirteen year old when he gave me the best "Are You Stupid" look I have ever seen. (honestly Noah doesn't say are you stupid- he say "that the dumb in the world". If you get this comeback, please know that you have been put in your place because he means it) He rolled his eyes and would not even bring himself down to the thriller level to give me an answer. 

My curiosity got the better of me ad I called to ask his interpreter what dance Noah was learning. Tai Chi. My child is doing Tai Chi not and I repeat not Thriller. My dreams of Noah being in his very own Glee club has been pushed even further out of my grasp. I guess I will hold out for Gabe...

Bah Bah Bah New York.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Introducing... My Much Cooler Friends!

I need to start off this post by saying that I am very content. (just put aside the Extreme Home Jealousy Issue of 2011) I have my little family in my little house with my nice family all around me. I go to my nice church and my nice job. I have very minimal drama. Now with that being said....I also have minimal excitement, minimal adventure and minimal, as stated before, minimal drama (a little drama can be a good thing). Thanks to Facebook and Myspace I can now live vicariously through my much cooler friends who are living much more exciting lives than me! I am going to introduce you to a few (just because I think it makes me seem so much cooler that I know these people)

First of all let me bring you back to my senior year in high school...there was this kid, who was younger than I was...called himself Patooty for some reason. Always hyper...always talking. He was that annoying kid that was endearing and you couldn't help but like him. Well Patooty grew up and found a passion in helping orphans. His website tells the story much more beautifully than I could AND they sell some gorgeous jewelry that helps orphans like this...

Go check it out! You will feel inspired and see some awesome jewelry to boot. (and don't you think I am so much cooler by knowing a person who is passionate about orphans and making the world a better place? It's like my own Brad and Angelina)

I also have a super cool friend who loves me even though I am not super cool like her! Jil has a Production Company (Bella Vita Creative Inc, even the name is cool) on 32nd street between Madison Ave and 5th Ave. (I am a much cooler person just knowing where that is) I love looking at her website and seeing the words executive producer by her name! I also like to watch the videos and try to spot the things that I have seen on TV. Go check it out because it is very cool...just like her (and me). Here is a picture of the flowers she sent me for my birthday...

Now compare that picture of my office to a picture of her office...
Can you spot the difference?

And speaking of Jil...even though I am not technically "friends" with this guy anymore (we will always have myspace) and I don't really know how I feel about the whole invasion of privacy issues and etc of his chosen livelihood at this point...Brett will always be the only marine with highlights I will ever know. I will never forget hanging out with Jil and heading over to Hilton Head and leaving him $100.00 tip. Good times, Good times. And lets face it...this has got to be my seven degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon so I cannot count it out on my living vicariously list...
I mean come on...look at the size of that lens! Brett if ya ever read this- don't speed down I95. You never know who is going to pull you over! LOL! If anybody else reading this (and why you are at this point is beyond me) wants details just ask. I'll tell you!

I also have this friend named Chris, who I knew would have a much cooler life than me even when we were in high school. Check out what he and his friends did in HIGH SCHOOL... Excuse me did I even know what the internet was in high school? Um no. I knew what the paint program was. Anyway my friend Chris does something or other with some kind of agency and he gets to travel all over the world and live all over the world (and by the way I have been out of the country exactly one time and that was for an hour and I went to Canada to eat a hot dog, french fries and cheese curds) and do things like snorkel and go in hot air balloons and go to the Olympics and presidential inaugurations. He speaks about 182 (or 12) languages, including Mandarin and takes pictures like this just any old day of the week...

So all in all I feel pretty unworldly compared to him. What can I say...those cheese curds made me a world traveler. I truly live vicariously through this guy.

Now I have TONS of other cool friends. I could post all day about them cause I love love love them all but who really wants to read a post that long? I will do a second edition cool friends list soon.

I would love to hear all about your super cool friends too! (or your seven degree separation from Kevin Bacon)