Tuesday, February 21, 2012

See The Thing About Legos Is Sometimes They Are A Bit Graphic

A little update on my future country music star...

We went to Texas Roadhouse to eat Sunday (not a fan) and we sat in the Willie Nelson corner. Gabe was quite thrilled with the whole affair (again- Rachel? Not a fan. A fan of Texas? Yes! Fan of Willie Nelson? Yes! Fan of the Roadhouse? No! I think I'd like to go to Texas and eat at a real Texas Roadhouse because I am sure that it is better than the fake Texas Roadhouse in Savannah, Georgia. We may be able to pull off Paula Dean but Texas is a big nono). Anyway- Gabe can not only break out in a wonderful rendition of Red Solo Cup, he can also do a very convincing Tush Push.

OK we will review...
  1. I hate country music.
  2. I don't like country food (obviously- see above paragraph)
  3. I certainly do not like line dancing.
  4. My child likes all of the above!
He is so precious and if my phone worked I would give you a little video of the solo line dancing champion of the Squires family. But as you know...

Anyway, we had a big weekend with 952 children attempting to spend the night at my house... in reality it was really just one child per Squires boy plus the cousins but doesn't that equal 952? Only about half of those actually succeeded in staying the entire night. Gabe's friend Cal (one of those who did not make the entire night) brought his new Bible. It is called "The Brick Bible" and on first glance it is the most fabulous thing in the ENTIRE Bible world! It is the Old Testament illustrated in Legos. So very very cool! Noah took to it like a fish to water! (How do you like that country term thrown in there? You'd think I was born in the south or something God willing and the creek don't rise. Oh wait- I was born in Georgia? My bad.) He studied that Bible for at least an hour.

I SHOULD have wondered about the snickering I heard going on.

I SHOULD have taken a look when he called Jake and Wil over to take a look.

I SHOULD have paid a little more attention when they started laughing out loud.

but no...

I had to wait to check out what was going on until I heard Noah shout (and have I mentioned how well Noah talks when it is a curse word coming out?) "WHAT THE H-E-Double Hockey Sticks Is THAT?"!!???

It was the story of Abram's covenant with God and how God was going to change his name to Abraham  and Sarai's name to Sarah and how she would give birth at the age of 90- which is ALL WELL AND GOOD what with it being in the Bible and all. The problem is Abraham's part of that covenant- the whole "cutting off the flesh of your foreskins" part of the covenant. The whole Abraham being 99 and Ishmael being 13 when this happened part of the covenant.The whole IT WAS ILLUSTRATED IN LEGOS part of the covenant.

Now I don't know about you but circumcision in itself is a difficult thing to explain to a 14 year old (hence the reason we had it done as an infant- you know to NOT have to explain it to him) but explaining it to a deaf 14 year old when you have not quite finished ASL 3 is next to impossible.

I may have scarred him for life. 

I took a look back at some of the other illustrations so I could maybe find out what all the laughing and snickering was about. I can only assume that the "Daughters of humankind" giving birth to babies of "the Sons of God" caused quite a stir as well as the story of Lot's daughters and The Ten Commandments- most specifically the sixth commandment- all of which may I reiterate is ILLUSTRATED IN LEGOS people!

I wish I could show you some pictures but after some research into the illustrator of said Bible I certainly do not want to infringe on anyone's copyright. 

Anyway- it is a very very cool book and Biblically based- I am just not sure if it is a Bible that you would want your 14 year old boy to have his greedy little palms on.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Red Solo What?

I am going to be quite honest with you...I am NOT a country music fan. Oh, I used to be. I loved Little Texas (do they still exist?) and that cute little guy with lupus who sang about her voice still answering his phone. Clay something or other. ANYWAY I loved country music. I had friends in low places and my love was higher than the pine tree standing high upon a hill. I listened to nothing else (well I did listen to lots Amy Grant even after she wore her leopard print jacket that caused such a huge scandal- because we all know you can't be a Christian and wear leopard print. And also maybe marrying Vince Gill even if your husband is a big drug addict gives the Christians lots to talk about over Sunday dinner. But I digress- a lot). Then I went on a trip with Charles before we had kids and CD's were still the way to go. I bought a Shania Twain CD and Charles bought a Green Day CD and by the time we got home I had had enough whining to last a lifetime and The Boulevard of Broken Dreams seemed like just the thing to transition me to pop 40.

What I am trying to say in way, way too many words is that country music has no home in my life.

The Squires Boys are another story. Even the deaf one likes the country music. I didn't consider it a problem until this morning.

Sweet Gabey Baby was looking at his chocolate milk and said, "Red Solo Cup, You're not just a cup. You're my friend." And then he broke out into a rousing version of the chorus.

Number One- I do not serve Gabey Baby his chocolate milk in a red solo cup. Let's face it...McDonalds serves it to him. In a jug. We can no longer take a cup in the car. I act like it is a big deal that he now drinks out of a big boy cup at home when in reality it just means I have lost all of the sippy cups.

Number Two- How does he know this song?

Number Three- Should I be worried that he was slurring his words when he said it?

Number Four- Where are theThe Christain Music Police when you need them?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

To Which I Can Only Say I Am Quite Embarrassed

How is that a girl with big dreams of blogging and pinning wonderful things to Pinterest and blogging and writing a novel and painting murals only can seem to accomplish one post a month? What is that?

I think I should blame it all on the fact that the track pad on my Blackberry won't work.

Sad but true.

I can post no pictures.

I can no longer update my status. (Although to be honest I seem to only think in status updates these days. My life in 140 characters or less.)

It is a tough life but someone has to do it.