Monday, June 6, 2011

Two and a Half Days Left in School AND My Perfect Child Did WHAT???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I have been a terrible blogger lately. We are consumed with all things "end of school" and "VBS". On the VBS issue...Let me just say...we are already "Walking Like An Egyptian". I am so excited! I have to say that my OCD friend Corey and I make the perfect OCD Bible School team! I have had so much fun and we are like a well oiled machine. I am gonna miss talking to her 734 times a day when this is all over. We may have to start planning next year's VBS just so we don't have withdrawals.

As you can plainly see in my title when we got up this morning we had 2 1/2 days left in school! I have been counting down to this moment since approximately October and I for one did not think the end of school could come a day too soon! Well, I would have been wrong... because it is coming too soon for 2 of the 5 Squires' Boys. I NEED for you to know that NONE of the Squires' Boys attend the same school nor do they have any way of communicating during the school day (unless they have somehow developed some sort of super power like mental telepathy which I really would not doubt if you told me they could) so what I am about to tell you is purely just...just...Squires.

I missed a call from the Elementary school and I ASSUMED that meant Wil had a migraine and needed to be picked up. After all, after 6 years in school these are the only types of phone calls I have had regarding my perfect child. I called back and told the secretary that someone had been trying to reach me. She informed me that Mrs. Glover the Assistant Principal wanted to talk to me.

Please note I can hear the DUM DUM DUM of the dramatic music in my head as I type this because this felt like a movie to me. Wil? Did the wrong school call about the wrong child? What?

Mrs. Glover (or M.Glove as I feel I can refer to her as now since we are in such a good place) informs me that Wil is being suspended from school for "putting his hands around J's throat". I have to say I was actually speechless at that point. I told her I would be right there to pick him up because honestly I was too dumbfounded to say anything more intelligent.

I got to the school in 2.8 minutes and saw Wil in the office. I could tell right away that if M. Glove had not called me the nurse certainly would have. He was actually green. At this point I was assuming (see what I get for assuming) he was looking green from just the pure terror of going to the principal's office. I didn't even talk to him as I was signing him out...I was scared some colorful words would slip out that I really don't want the office staff to know I know. I turned and saw the other child who I assumed was the other guilty party and since his eyes were blood red and tears were still pouring down his face. At that moment I realized I couldn't explode like I had planned to. Oh he was going to be in trouble for putting his hands around someone's throat, BUT I have to admit there have been times when I have actually fantasized about wrapping my hands around this child's throat.

Did I type that outloud?

Oh, I would never touch a child that way but the best way I can describe this friend is by saying...Gnat. If you live in the Lowcountry, you understand this term. He has bugged the class all year and Wil is not the first to have the suspension fate. So Wil's fifth grade and elementary career ends with............ SUSPENSION! Nice.

When I picked up Noah he asked why Wil was in the car. I told him and he was feeling quite superior. After all he has not been suspended (well not officially...the whole throwing of the laptop could very well be considered an uninvited break from school). AND THEN...the phone. It's  Amy. Jake has been suspended. For putting a child in a headlock because he was beating up Jake's friend. According to Jake it was not really a headlock more of a holding his head with Jake's elbow.

So welcome summer! I can tell it is going to be a good one!


  1. Holy Cow!! way to welcome summer! I must say i think i will side with Noah and Jake. As prepubesent males, you can only really try to ignore the GNATS of the bcsd for so long before you just can't take any more.

  2. I agree with anonymous on the Gnat comment. Rachel you nor the Squires boys never cease to amaze me! Love you all!!!

  3. Perhaps someone should have been responsible enough to notice that Wil had a horrible migraine sooner and called his MotY. I would tell Wil to just punch the guy in the nose next time - rather than hands on throat. And Jake should be given a medal for taking up for his friend. LOL.