Pressure OK, Lady?

The "sister wives" headed to Savannah to do a little Black Friday Christmas shopping. Tom,  Amy,  Jake, Heyward,  Noah, Wil, Gabey Baby and I loaded up in my car (because it holds 8 you know) and headed off to get some great deals! All except you know we didn't get up at 4:00 in the morning and we kinda missed most of the deals and we didn't have any money so it wouldn't have mattered anyway. It was everything we expected! It was crowded, it was hectic and it has been added to the never again list...again. Is it just me or did walking in a mall all of a sudden become much more exhausting? By the time we got to the second mall Amy and I were wiped! And I should mention here that Tom dropped Amy, Gabey Baby and I off at Target and he took the four big boys to Bass Pro Shops.

Now I know that pushing a stroller through Target should be a lot easier than keeping a 13 year old, a 12 year old, an 10 year old and a 9 year old wrangled at a place that is aptly named Outdoor World but do not discount the power of the Target 2 Day Sale people. AND Amy and I had obviously not trained as we should have. By the time we got to the food court I asked Amy if we should wait for the boys and she stated, "I need to eat NOW" which were my sentiments exactly... I just didn't want to sound like I was that selfish. I figured it was ok if there were two of us eating, because how can it be selfishness if there are two people involved? After dinner (we made the boys FFY and in Rachelese that means Fin For Yourself and my boys are very used to it) Amy had a few more stores to hit and the boys had more to see in Outdoor World.

 As we were making our way toward Bath and Bodyworks we passed the "Mall Massage" storefront and like I have stated before, Amy and I were not properly trained for Black Friday. We turned Gabe's stroller in because what a better way to spend 12 minutes than to watch your aunt and mother get their back's rubbed? Now the girl who was gonna give the good old mall massage is approximately 92.5 pounds and let's just say Amy and I aren't. I was a little skeptical. Amy was cool and calm because after all, she has had the mall massage before. She told us we could pay after the massage and so Amy settled into the worlds most flattering position that one could take in a mall (please note the use of my sarcasm font here). Gabe was pretty calm for the first 8 minutes and then he started to get a little antsy. When it was my turn, Amy took Gabe on to Bath and Bodyworks. I settled in for what I figured would be the greatest 12 minutes of my month. Now, somehow when I stuck my face into the massage chair that 92.5 pounds girl turned into a 452 pound sumo wrestler. I am not sure how this happened because the mall massage people are usually from the People's Republic of China (it says so on those really official looking certificates they have on the wall) and Sumo wrestlers are generally from Japan but none the less when this women started rubbing my shoulders I felt like I was in a vice and that my head was going to pop off at any minute. I am really not sure why I thought I would enjoy a massage seeing how I am not the biggest fan of touching. I am not sure if she could sense my unease or maybe I was wincing or maybe it was the fact that at some points I am sure I was holding my breath for a few minutes at a time but she kept asking me "Pressure OK Lady?". Now I am not up on the proper mall massage etiquette but I am a people pleaser (insert laughter here) and somehow I croaked out a weak "uh huh" and the sumo wrestler continued the mall massage torture. The never ending 12 minutes came to an end and I looked around for Amy's purse to pay. Well, Amy had gone to B&B with her purse and my purse so I ended up sitting in the mall massage store and I could feel the pressure that had just been relieved creeping back inch by inch every minute Amy was gone. There was one of those very uncomfortable silences, when you know you don't speak the same language and you just keep smiling at each other. All the time I know she is thinking "This fat American Lady not going to pay her bill and I gonna have to run after her from my mall store".

 Finally Amy came back and we paid for our 12 minutes in heaven and went to meet the guys in Outdoor World. We spot Tom and the boys from across the camouflage and he looks beat down. He has after all been chasing the boys while Amy and I partook in what should have been a relaxing mall massage. He handed off the boys to me while he and Amy went to check out. I took all 5 out to look at the waterfall, an act of pure selflessness if you ask me, because what better to entertain a gang of boys than the crushing force of water. Tom managed to keep the boys all safe, unhurt, out of jail and together for approximately 3 hours in Bass Pro Shops. I, on the other hand had them for all of 3 minutes when Wil stuck his finger in an empty christmas light socket. Did I mention it was raining? Did I mention we were getting wet by the crushing force of a Bass Pro Shops Waterfall? Did I mention WIL STUCK HIS FINGER IN A LIGHT SOCKET?

No, the pressure is not ok Lady. Not ok.

Hobos and Such

Yesterday, really close to getting off time, a strange man came to the door of the daycare. Now being that it is the Thanksgiving Season, I am going to add to the top of my thankful for list, that I am SOOO very thankful for locked daycare doors. Paul had warned me there was a strange man outside. He even told me the guy had no shirt. I should have been prepared. I wasn't. He scared me. Not scared me as in hide under my desk scared me...scared me in the wow I'm glad those doors are locked because I don't know what you may do to my babies scared me. Do you follow? Let me see if I can give you a good description...imagine a really fat Santa with no beard but long white hair that hasn't seen shampoo since about 1972. AND instead of a little round belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly, his was a little hairy and so white it reflected the light from inside. Now, I know this poor man needed help and he had come to a church...where he should be able to go and get help. However, when he found out the office was closed and that this was a childcare center and that I could NOT let him in, I wish that he had not continued to bang on the door and try to open it. That is when Noah began to get a little freaked. He grabbed my phone and texted Charles...and it said and I quote "Come to church now Hobo was at church"

Isn't nice when a throwback term like Hobo can come back into fashion?

So Noah is totally freaked out about this Hobo. He woke up today talking about the Hobo. And oh my he had lots to say!

"Mom you ok with that hobo in the town and you at the church and the man with the mop can walk you to car and Gabe to car cause that hobo is knock on the door and why you not have a gun at the work and if that hobo knock on the door I think he smell. I think your boss can't stay all night wait for you because she hurt her leg an she need go home rest her leg cause I think she sleep on leg wrong and that why it broken and I love your boss so she need go home so her foot sleep so she not stay for the hobo. but that man with the mop can watch for the hobo."

Can you say Noah is a little obsessed with the hobo? I wonder why in heaven's name Noah would think it was at all ok to have a gun in a daycare. I wonder where Noah learned the term Hobo. I wonder if this poor and possibly homeless man would be offended by the term hobo. I wonder what I am going to do when it gets dark and the man with the mop is not here to walk me to the car. I wonder what Noah would say if he knew I saw the hobo again today crossing Boundary Street. I think I will keep that information to myself.

Oh, The Drama and The Sister Wives

For the record this is my second post that is titled Oh, the....

We have started out the Thanksgiving Season with much to be thankful for. Noah and Wil should be thankful that they are breathing... It has been a rough few days on the behavior front. Gabe should be thankful his daddy is so patient when it comes to whiny, sinusy, grouchy babies. Charles should be thankful that...well...um...I can't really think of anything right now because in all honesty he has been very helpful the last few days and I can't really pick on him. Finally I am thankful that my whole entire family has not disowned me because I am sure I deserve it.

We had planned on going as a family to see the AWESOME drama "This Man Called Jesus" in Columbia. However, with the sinus infection and the ear infection and the stomach issues, my mom, Charles and Gabey Baby stayed home. SOOO the plan was that Tom, Amy, Grannie Annie, The Four Big Squires Boys and I would head on up to Columbia. We were going to take Amy and Tom's van which is good because Charles is OBSESSIVE about highway safety and our tires are a tad bit on the (completely) bald side. The only problem is (and a math major I do not claim to be)  that there were 8 of us going in a car that only holds 7 and we didn't realize it until the morning of. And so there was MAJOR drama before the drama. Charles threw a fit about us taking our car and I threw a fit about not taking our car and Grannie Annie threw a fit about us throwing a fit. AND I have to admit that the devil was working hard in my house because before going to This Man Called Jesus there were some very bad words coming out of my mouth. It's a weakness and I know it. I apologize to my husband, my mother-in-law, my children (even the deaf one) and my dog for the nasty words that came out of my mouth. Anyway Charles gave in (he's a good man and usually does) and we took my car. It seats eight you know.

Whenever something cool comes along that we want the boys to do, Tom and I are usually the ones who take them to do it. I call him my faux husband (even though in all honesty we are so much alike and it really grosses me out to think of like holding his hand or something. Glad he is my brother-in-law and all...couldn't ask for a better guy but "gag me with a spoon" on the whole touching aspect of the husband part) Charles is usually working and Amy is usually keeping the baby or working on lesson plans so most of the time it's just me and the faux  husband. It's all well and good since all the boys look alike and one could very easily think that Tom and I have 4 good looking boys together...that is until Amy starts coming along. Then it becomes one weird sister wife thing with Tom and 2 wives and an army of little boys. The three of us walked into the convenience store and grabbed a whole bunch of drinks and Combos (which are the best convenience store snacks) and as we were walking out Amy said "We look like the sister wives again" and I threw up in my mouth just a little bit. It didn't get much better at the Cracker Barrel or when Tom said he was gonna buy a bus and paint "The Squires Family" on the side.

The real drama was fabulous! Well worth the trip and the whole sister wife thing. I posted the link above so if you get a chance please click on over and visit the website and if you can take a trip please go see it. Abraham the camel would love to see you. And bring the sister wives along...they'll enjoy it too!

'Tis the Season!

     With a title like that I bet you are thinking about the holidays...Thanksgiving, Christmas, maybe even New Years if that's your thing. I am thinking of another kind of season. It is not a season that I look forward to like say Easter or my birthday. As a matter of fact, it is the time of year that I DREAD! Yes, my friends...I am talking about The Science Fair. The whole affair is a jumbled mess of backboards (although this year we graduated to Power Point...welcome to the 21st century dear science fair) scientific formulas, hypotheses, bibliographies and results. Oh how I wish we could go back to the days of "What Color Do You See Most in a Bag of M&M's?". A few bags of candy, some graph paper and some colored pencils and we are off! I am going to go on the record as saying if I was a science teacher (pause for laughter here) I would never make the children in my classes do a science fair project. I am starting to save Noah and Wil's projects because by the time Gabey Baby gets to the science fair these teachers will never remember which of 'The Squires Boys' turned in which project. I'm gold! Anyway Noah turned it in and we are waiting with baited breath to find the results.To be honest, this year we went in with the thought of simply passing rather than winning the whole shebang.
     As I was picking up Noah from school the other day I saw a sight that warmed my heart. Noah has always pretty much been a loner. Every day I pick him up and he is standing by himself just waiting for a ride. Thursday I spotted his little blond head walking out from the big bad middle school but on this day there was a little brown head walking with him and they were signing. I was so excited to see Noah with a friend at school. I always picture him sitting by himself in the cafeteria because he does not communicate well. I think of him as being too shy to make friends. I picture him as too stubborn to let his interpreter help. I worry that he will have a stunted social life. But Thursday gave me a whole new picture. He was walking with a friend. He was communicating with a classmate with no outside help. He was smiling. Maybe they were discussing the science fair. No scratch that because who in their right mind would be smiling when discussing the science fair.
     It has been a lazy two days. I have been taking lots of naps because sweet Gabey Baby has been sick and Wil has had a migraine. I think the entire world would be a whole lot nicer if a two hour nap was mandatory. Who could I speak with about this? I am pretty sure the crime rate would dip because let's face it, we would all be a lot less grouchy. Any way I spent this morning watching my second favorite Heath Ledger movie. I don't think I have mentioned my overall obsession with all things Heath (excluding the whole I wish I could quit you craziness of Broke-Back Mountain...something about a gay cowboy that does not float my boat but I can forgive and I hate to speak ill of the dead) Anyway my first favorite of course is The Patriot (and if you have seen this please do not mention his character's name to Charles as it is still a source of contention with us and the naming of our third child. I promise it is just a coincidence) and my second being "A Knight's Tale". Now I know that many of you would think the premise of a pauper dressed up like a knight parading around with  Geoffrey Chaucer and a band of anything but merry men, jousting in what can only be described as clothes worn by the Rolling Stones in the late 60's ( I kid you not...the costume gal said so in the behind the scenes footage that I, of course, watch whenever I pull out the DVD) a tad on the ridiculous side but there is such a beauty in the story of a father who gave up his son in order to give him a better life. Oh I cry every time I see it. Yes, John Thatcher, your son did change his stars....and he followed his feet back home. Excuse me while I grab a puffs plus. And the fact that we get to see Paul Bettany butt naked from behind only adds to the enjoyment of it all. "What? You haven't heard of it. Well it was allegorical." Oh Chaucer, you delight me. Anyway if you are in for a good time "A Knight's Tale" will not disappoint but remember it is no Canterbury Tales even with good old Geoff's nakedness.

Some Randomness...I'm Good At It

I was looking back at my old notes on my Facebook page (I am a tad narcissistic- I love to reread my facebook stuff...and let's face it why else would I write a blog all about me?) and I came across one of those surveys you fill out. This one simply asked you to write 25 random things about yourself. I thought I would repost this and see how much still applies to my daily life. I wrote it on January 19,2009... 4 days before Baby Gabe came into this world and about a month before my family's world came apart.

25 Random Things About ME!

1. I don't like to turn left. I will still go out of my way to avoid turning left without a light.
2. I hardly ever eat anything green...green jello, green koolaide, vegetables puhlease! Gross! (Green M&M's are on the approved list) Still haven't gone green. Does this have anything to do with my carbon footprint?
3. When I met my husband he was in the Navy...and I was in the 9th grade! (GASP) Cradle robber!
4. Sometimes I get this really weird urge to crawl under my desk. I don't know why but this is supposed to be random facts and let's face it...that is random. I wouldn't have fit under my desk then and  now it just takes too much energy to get to the floor...much less back up.
5. I'm addicted to reading blogs of people I don't know and will never meet. I have added many blogs to this list. Just look at who I follow!
6. My sister and I have a "Never Again List" Chick-fil-a on kids night is #1. The Never Again List has expanded tremendously since we have a third child!
7. I work for my dad. He doesn't like facebook. I sneak. I would give up anything, except the assurance that I will see him again, to sneak onto facebook again.
8. I messed up washing my husband's uniform one time so I would never have to do it again. (Not permanent damage mind you-just really wrinkled. ps It Worked) I think that speaks for itself.
9. When my kids were babies and they would wake up in the middle of the night sometimes I would just lay there pretending I was asleep and that I couldn''t hear them so Charles would get up instead. We didn't do this with Gabey Baby. We are much better parents with him than we were with the other two.
10. My favorite kinds of friends are the ones who I can not speak to for days or weeks and as soon as I talk to them again it feels like not a day has gone by. (and I get no guilt over not calling) Shout out to all my friends who have stuck by me in my not calling phases-Jen,Crystal,Amy,Regina,Carroll,Jil-you know I love you! Just self absorbed (or just lazy-you pick) You can add way more people to this list now. With a third child I don't have time to go to the bathroom much less call friends. Thanks for the no guilt. I really can't stand the guilt.
11. I am so lucky! I love all my in-laws! My sister-in-law is the bomb! (and we are having these boys around the same time and she is an awesome baker and she can sign!) My other sister-in-law is my sister and I couldn't live without her! (although if I were just her sister-in-law and not her sister I don't think she would like me) My mother-in-law is so sweet and would do anything for anyone! Hasn't changed!
12. I LOVE SUPERCHIC[K]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think everyone should google them and add them to your friends and become a fan and buy their CDs and go to their concerts! I didn't like their last CD as much as some but I am still fanatical.
13. I have two friends who are in a special birthday club with me! Kristin's birthday is December 13th...mine is January 13th (by the way I'm sure all the gifts are still in the mail right?) and Shelley's birthday is February 13th. We have all been friends since babyhood and are still friends to this day! Dear Shelley and Kristin...we are approaching 40.
14. My friend Crystal's birthday is on my dad's birthday and our mom's were both born on January 11th. Pretty neat huh! We were meant to be friends! Still Friends!
15. My grandmother has no Great-Grand-Daughters but when the two new ones get here (mine and Anne's) she will have 15 (count them)15 Great-Grand-Sons! (and one great great grandson) I miscounted...Gabe and Daniel were numbers 12 and 13 but still no girls and still impressive right?
16. I like to get up in the middle of the night and eat a Dove promise. I like to get up in the middle of the night and eat a few Dove promises and a glass of milk and maybe some peanut butter. Maybe this is why I weigh more now than when I wrote this (9 months preggo)
17. I don't like to be kissed and hugged all that much. A nice pat on the shoulder does it for me every time! (Noah and Wil are exceptions...poor Charles) Amen Sista...can I amen myself?
18. My mother ran over my foot (with the car) when I was in fourth grade. It didn't break my foot because I had on brand new shoes form Lipsitz. (and it was all Amy's fault because it was my day to sit in the front seat and she got in it) Still kinda cramps up when the weather gets bad. Not really I just thought that sounded funny and I had nothing else.
19. My sister always thought I was Bipolar but it was really just a chemical imbalance during my teenaged years. May still have some issues (if you can't tell by reading this)
20. I love rainy cold days. I feel like the world is getting a shower. It makes me happy! (can you say chemical imbalance) Loves It!
21. I read in the bathtub. If you are in my book club you know this. I tend to drop them in the tub. I also talk on the phone in the tub and just for reference it will not electrocute you if you drop a cordless phone into the tub. I speak from experience! Don't get as much time to read now that I have three little boys who like to come in and bother me.
22. 22 is my favorite number. I don't know why. Still my favorite number.
23. I am scared to death of this baby. What if I can't handle 3 kids. I've never been outnumbered before! Gabey Baby is the biggest blessing I have ever received. I truly do not know what we would have done without him.
24. My brother makes the best fried shrimp in the entire world... he says he's retired but I don't think so! I want some right now.
25. I hate to say it but looking at this list even I think I could use a little counseling!

Well there you go. Not much has changed but everything has changed. I never would have thought when I was sitting at my desk writing that, my life would be completely different a month later. I would never be going back to that desk. I would not have to sneak Facebook. I would not work for my dad anymore. I would not see him every day. Losing someone takes so much time to heal from. Losing someone in such a violent way and with so many unanswered questions takes more time than I have had. I hurt everyday. I miss him everyday but now I can laugh. And I can find the humor in my kids and I can go on knowing that I am going to see him again and when I do I may even sing him a heavenly tune!

I would love to hear random things about you. Post a few in the comments!

The Frozen Fowl or The Christian Music Police or When In Doubt Just Remember He Is Quite Satisfied

Let me start out by saying...Happy Fall Back. This has got to be my favorite Sunday of the whole year! You get an extra hour to sleep in. You can send your kids to bed at 9:00 and they may even go to sleep because it feels like 10:00. It should be a holiday. I was feeling so good about myself that I even stopped by Walmart on the way to Sunday School to pick up some whipped cream and pudding for the kiddies to finger paint with...and maybe just maybe I over estimated the power of Fall Back Sunday. For It Is Written, the Toddler Two Sunday School Class shall never again participate in such activities that involve pudding, whipped cream and fingers. Don't get me wrong....they had fun. They had fun on the table. They had fun on the chairs. They had fun on the floor. They had fun on the walls. They even had fun on each other (I should state that actually the only one who had fun on someone else was Gabey Baby Squires. Does that surprise you? It shouldn't). To My Dear Co-Teacher...I am sorry I bring such chaos into your world. Blame it on Fall Back Sunday. See you next week!

After church we headed over to a fundraiser put on by the city's finest...and by finest I do mean my hubby Charles who provided over night security. It was boy paradise...some kind of souped up Chevette drag racer (It was really a corvette, I just wanted Charles to read this and roll his eyes at my cluelessness) and lots of shiny mustangs and all kinds of old cars that made my brother and brother-in-law say things like "oh yeah" and "nice". In other words Amy, Anne and I walked around trying to keep the babies from putting fingerprints all over the cars. Good Times, Good Times. The food was good and there were some games to play. Wil wanted $2.00 to throw darts at a paper turkey. (He came over and asked for $2.00 and all I could think about was Better Off Dead, John Cusack GREATNESS. If you have never seen it you have to! Seriously my friend has it on DVD. You must ask to borrow it) Next thing I know here comes Wil with a great big frozen turkey. Yes, my child won a turkey. He ran over, well he tried to run over but then he dropped the turkey and then he walked over slowly, and said "I won Thanksgiving Dinner and can you take a picture of it? And can you post it on facebook?" What have I done to my child? **Update Below

I don't talk much on here about Wil and I should. He is my "whatever child". If I want to go to Walmart, he'll go. If I ask him if he wants to go to Granmomma's, he says sure. If I tell him to pick up Gabe, he does. He is an all around good kid. He is always smiling. He always gives you a hug when he sees you (and you know it is because he wants to, not because he has to) and he is smart as a whip. He also will fall over his shadow, drop whatever he is carrying and if we go on vacation you can bet he will visit the infirmary or the ER at some point. Heyward calls it "Life With Wil". He just has a way about him. One day when he was in first grade, I asked him why he was being so wiggly. He said (and I quote and I am not even joking) "I am just quite satisfied". I'll never know if he was satisfied at that moment or in life in general, but that is how I will always picture my Wil. Quite Satisfied. When he told me he wanted to be baptized I asked him if he really knew what that meant. I had prepared myself for the usual  "Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins". Not Wil. Oh no...here was his 1st grade answer "Well you see Jesus made a blood sacrifice for me and I need to live my life like he would want me to." At this point I am thinking he needs to teach my Sunday School Class. He probably would have known the pudding and whipped cream would not be such a great idea. One day Big Mama (who's blog I read everyday with stalker-like tendencies) posted about her playlists. She admitted to liking Ke$ha...who I will admit I find myself humming along to if I happen to scan through and stop on one of her songs. I posted a comment that Wil (AKA The Christian Music Police) heard her song playing on the way to school and he said "Did she just say BEER?" To which I replied sheepishly "Why yes, she did." I have since learned to keep it tuned to Air One when he is in the car and save the Ke$ha for my alone time. My Wil is gonna keep me in line!

So if you don't have plans for Thanksgiving...Wil has got it covered! Come on over and have some dropped on the cement frozen turkey!

**After I left Wil won two more turkeys. Yes, we have Thanksgiving covered.

What I am Teaching Your Children!

I have been on vacation this week...actually to use term I am too old to use, a staycation. Yes, I have not been anywhere exciting (well except to the park and to a friend's house for dinner...it was delicious by the way!) just sitting around the house looking at all of the laundry I am not doing because I am on vacation.I wouldn't be doing laundry if I was in say Aruba or Ireland. I wouldn't be doing laundry if  was in the mountains or camping at the beach. So why should I do laundry while I am "sitting on my laurels" at home? I am really trying to convince myself. so please excuse the rant. I am going to get on that tomorrow. Mount St Squires will erupt tomorrow whether it be in the washing machine or in the burn pile in my back yard. Could go either way.

I went to church tonight and instead of going straight to the "ever cool book club" I headed over to teach the 4-6 graders. Yes, I have volunteered myself and my above mentioned friend to take on the 4-6 graders at BCOB once again. AND me and the above mentioned friend are going to lead them ever so gently into being wholly prepared for our Christmas Eve service. It is officially called the drama and art block although I prefer "The Arts with Patsy and Rachel". It has some flair...admit it. So tonight we played some really cool improv games. They acted like they were in a movie and we paused and fast forwarded and did a lot of rewinding. They were awesome. They were having fun. I was feeling pretty pretty good. Next they stood up and we all yelled out things for them to act out. There was the hobo diggin in the trash for dinner (what did the fifth grader playing the hobo find n the bottom of the trash can? A cig and a beer...do I need to tell you that fifth grader's last name was Squires. I didn't think so). We had a CNN correspondent interviewing a man on the street. It was great. Then came the last game... it was innocent I swear. The child was supposed to stand up and make a statement about their day. We, as the audience would ask questions to figure out if the statement was true or false. Well somehow this innocent little game turned into "oh oh Ms. Rachel I can lie...let me tell a lie. I can trick you all". Parents please know that Patsy nor I, in any way, shape or form, condone lying. Let's just call it acting...and let's just say they were very good at it.

The point of this is, I guess, please come to our Christmas Eve service...you will be truly blessed!

Fall Festival!

The parking lot is abuzz with activity as everyone is frantically getting ready to entertain about 750,842 children (or 300 give or take). Remember the crisp cool air that I spoke so highly of a few weeks ago? Remember how inspiring? Remember how wonderful? Remember how Fall Festivelish? Well.....the cool air has left the building (or the state of South Carolina to be more exact) . Our fall festival is taking place in exactly 90 degree weather. Lovely.Our sweet Children's Minister said she felt like she was getting ready for Vacation Bible School (which in itself is a whole post).

So to all my fine friends who are  running around and sweating...i will see you at 6:15 because that's when I can leave this desk...and the air conditioning.

I love you all! Thanks for all you do!

A Few Loose Ends

I have some loose ends that are begging to be tied. I know you are just dying to know and keep checking back here just in case I update (or you just happened to come across this blog and figured you'd waste a few moments of your day...either way it's all good).

1. Noah's birthday weekend was greatness (please note I put weekend because Noah does not celebrate for just one day...it takes a whole weekend)! Friday Charles coordinated a sleepover...Saturday brought a lot of tunnel digging and Sunday we enjoyed a day with family at Chez Trezevant (aka Anne and Daniel's) with some fabulous food. Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. He had a great weekend. 
2. The temperatures are creeping back up and therefore my air conditioner has once again stopped working. Lovely.
3. The temperatures are creeping back up and therefore I have NOT done any more bridge walking (uphill). The Yoga still holds the record at two times. 
4. Charles had to work Saturday night and we watched a little of the Gamecocks game before he left. I kept it on and ended up watching the whole thing. Not only did I watch the whole thing I proceeded to watch the whole second half again the next night so I could show Charles where I thought they had made a bad call. What is happening to me? I am getting a little concerned. Do I need to see someone about this? Football...Really?

Now that you have been sufficiently updated in the World of Rachel I know you will be able to sleep much better.

13

Today is a big day. Noah is 13. I have a teenager. 13. He thinks he has been a teenager for about two years now. He would tell me "So what? I a teen" I guess he can now officially enter the teenaged world. I am really handling it quite well. He started middle school in September and I guess I got most of my lamenting over at that time. There are times when I really have to step back and take a look at Noah with fresh eyes because I admit, he is a hard child to live with at times! Here are some things I try to keep in mind...

1. When Noah is being stubborn and won't do what I want him too I try to remember that when he was on ECMO he was so stubborn that we couldn't talk to him or touch him or he would shut the pump down. Now being on a heart lung bypass may not seem like it is a good time to be stubborn but in reality, for Noah it was. He fought the good fight and came out of it not much worse for the wear.


2. When Noah gets mad and "runded away" down the street and I have to chase him down and talk some sense into him I try to remember that this is the child that the doctors at MUSC said may never walk or run. I should be thankful that he is running...even it is away from me.
3. When Noah calls me (or his brothers, or his cousins, or Butros Butros Gahli) an idiot (eeyait as he says it) I try to remember that this was the child we thought would never talk. I can remember Charles and I talking about how if we just just hear him say "I love you" it would make all the hours of therapy worth it. Now we can't get him to hush. And let me just say, why is it that the stronger the bad word is the clearer it comes out of his mouth? He doesn't say toothbrush real well but oh my soul can he say shut-up (and any four letter word that you can think of).
4. When Noah tells me he wants another mother I try to read the note he left in my wallet when I got my wisdom teeth pulled. It said "I hope your teeth is o.k. love:Noah" He really does care.
5. When Noah will not wake up in the morning I try to remember that this is the same child who did not sleep (at all) from the ages of 13 months til about 6 years. God bless the peaceful sleep.
6. When Noah goes through his afternoon without so much as a kiss my foot, I try to remember that this is the same child who thanked me for paying the electric bill.
7. When Noah gets out of the car and goes inside and sits his sitter in the chair to watch tv without once thinking to help me carry in bags or the baby or his bookbag, I try to remember the evening he made me a "sweet and sour" sandwich (which if you do not know consists of sweet n sour sauce from Mcdonalds and two slices of bread) just because I was having a bad day.
8. When Noah is mean to Wil and beats him up I try to remember that this is the same child who sometimes reaches over and puts his arm around him and says "We best friends now". Please note this is ususally about 5 minutes before one of them runs screaming into whatever room I am in saying ..."Blank is trying to (insert some kind of  violent action here) with (insert some sort of weapon here) and it hurts!"
9. When Noah complains about homework and pitches a fit about going to school I try to remember that this is the same child I used to put on my shoulders while pushing Wil in the stroller to get him into the school building when he was three.

I am so blessed to have him. I love hearing him say "I love you". I love how he signs 5 more minutes in his sleep. I love that he cares so much about Gabey Baby. I love how much he looks up to his Uncle Tom, Uncle Daniel and Uncle Bobby. I love that he sometimes talks my ear off and other times he is content to stay quiet. I love that sometimes I look at him and see myself and other times I look at him and I see Charles. I love that he can smell when someone has been in the car even if it was the day before. I love that he likes to climb trees just like me.

                                  

                                  

I Love You Noah!

How I Know It Is Fall...

Could it be the beautiful colored leaves? No that won't happen here for a while.

Could it be the crisp cool air? Not really...it was still 85 here today.

Could it be the cute jeans and sweaters people are wearing? No, most people are still in shorts.

Could it be the cute Halloween decorations that everyone and their brother are putting up besides me? Possibly.

Could it be that Baby Gabey decided he just HAD to take his plastic pumpkins to bed with him? Well it is a clue.

Could it be that since it is no longer 108 degrees outside with 452% humidity- the air conditioner in my car FINALLY decided to start working yesterday? Well that is a good sign and Murphy's Law but not really how I REALLY know!

How I really know that it is fall is when I go to Walmart EVERY SINGLE THING I TOUCH gives me a static electric shock! So annoying when you are trying to grocery shop. I ended up making Wil walk in front of me so that I could shock him before touching the metal shelves.That on top of the Christmas decorations being out before Halloween is enough to make me wanna boycott. I tell you...pet peeves against Walmart? I got 'em.

Shop somewhere else? Can't do it.

Blame It On Milli Vanilli

So I have added another award to my trophy case. Now in addition to my Mother of the Year 2010 award I can probably add The World's Worst Blogger. I don't know what to say, I haven't been in the mood.

I could blame it on being a little disappointed in Glee because it crossed a line I am not sure that I am ready to cross.

I could blame it on the fact that I have been very busy this last week with trainings (14 hours in the last week) or the paperwork that I am trying to get done.

I could blame it on the very upsetting news that my good friend Jackie got (I love you jacks and I am here for you no matter what).

I could blame it on Mike "The Situation" getting voted off of Dancing With the Stars.

I could blame it on Steve Spurrier because let's face it, he probably deserves it.

I could even blame it on the rain (hence the catchy title up there) but in all reality it is probably the fact that nothing extraordinary has been happening around here.

Well, ok I admit my previous posts had nothing extraordinary in them either but somehow I found some reason to write about it.

I could write about my trip to Walmart or the seriously long wait at the Zaxby's drive through. I could write about doing laundry for 12 hours on Saturday or cleaning out the car (I SOOOO did not clean out the car, I just put that in for Charles) I could write about what Noah said before Sunday School but we have had enough posts about poop (and by enough I mean one). So I will say farewell for tonight and let's hope something terribly exciting happens tomorrow.

10 Ways I Would Rather Start My Day

It started out bad. I figured I would list the 10 more desirable things first and then give you the big finale and let you judge which you would take. I am not saying that this is the first time this has happened to anyone. It has even happened to me before. I would just rather it not happen....EVER AGAIN! Here it goes...

1. I would rather get up at 4:30 in the morning, deliver papers in the pouring rain, on the blue Western Auto bicycle I got for my 10th birthday.
2. I would rather eat eggs for breakfast. (If you know ANYTHING about me then you know this is huge!)
3. I would rather have 42 hours of labor with no epidural (ok I have never tried labor without an epidural so this one may not count)
4. I would rather go for three weeks without a cherry coke.
5. I would rather have all of my radio stations only get the country stations. 
6. I would rather have to take showers from here on out. (Just the thought of never being able to sit in a hot bathtub makes me want to cry. It's like the A-1 commercial...yes it's that important)
7. I would rather wear corduroys in the middle of August. With a sweater. Just Saying.
8. I would rather never see another musical for as long as I live.
9. I would rather head shrimp in pluff mud.
10. I would rather walk (uphill) across this bridge...

 

Yes, I would rather do any of these things instead of....well here is the deal. Gabey Baby woke up while I was still in the bathtub...so Charles put him in with me to just wash the overnight nastiness off of him. He is so cute and was just standing there speaking Mandarin (he is quite advanced...I'm not even teaching him Chinese he is just picking it up) when all of a sudden (can you guess where this is going?) he smiled an pointed to his stomach and POOPED on my leg (and in the water and on the side of the tub). Just remember...this is same child who had the stomach bug the day before. So it was about the constancy of...well I can't even think about it. Let's just say he mixed it up a bit. 

Anyway I could, for sure, avoid that for the rest of my life and never miss it!

Why Does It Always End With the Phrase "I Think That May Need Stitches"?

     It has been a jam packed weekend! Between the laundry I didn't do and the dishes that are still in the sink you can tell that I am on the ball (especially since Noah and Wil spent most of the weekend away from home)! Oh and just a side note on my walking...it lasted exactly...one time! Yes that is what I have accomplished...one time. That is officially one less than my exciting foray into Yoga after Wil was born. I did that twice. I have big plans for the week to come so stay tuned in for that. I am sure you are at the edge of your seats.
     Anyway the weekend started out with a trip out to dinner. I had a gift card from a very sweet friend who was thinking about me...(I so needed it friend) and I decided to use it as soon as I got it because I have no self control. Anyway my co-worker (who is also a great friend and happens to be one of Gabey Baby's teachers) had no plans Friday night so we thought we'd head on over and eat. It's what we do best. Gabe was on his best out-to-eat behavior (so he basically was not screaming at the tops of his lungs or running around the restaurant but you could have fed about three families of mice with the food that ended up on the floor) and we enjoyed some good food. We even both got some dessert because we deserved it (what with my one trip across the bridge...uphill by the way and her almost joining us for that walk). It was all good I had a gift card and five dollars in my pocket to make up whatever else I needed for the tip...or so I thought. Yes that five dollar bill was really a one dollar bill. That left me with the option to leave our waitress with a $4.64 tip and sneak out of there and never show my face again or to come clean and tell her the truth and promise to be back with a crisp five dollar bill to add to that $4.64 tip. Well I have a little problem with running off at the mouth and telling everyone who will stand still for 2 minutes my whole life story, so I chose to tell her the whole truth. Let's just say she was less than thrilled to have her last tip of the night be $4.64. I guess she did not believe that I would bring her back the rest of the money. (So reminds me of that movie with the cop and the waitress and Rosie Perez except I am no Nicholas Cage and Charles is certainly not Rosie Perez and I would never leave him for Junika because obviously she does not believe that I am going to bring her back that five dollar bill) How much you wanna bet my friend never goes out to dinner with me ever again?
    So Saturday Gabe, Charles and I hung out at the house all day (not doing laundry or dishes). We watched the Gamecocks play. Now I am not a college football fan...I am not any kind of football fan...I am not any kind of ball fan but how could you possibly live in South Carolina and NOT watch that football game? I have to say I was quite proud and even threw a few terms like "down" and "facemask" around (like because the cocks were doing such a great job with this game that I was somehow turned into some sort of superfan who all of a sudden knew what the lines on the field meant). It exhausted me. It was fun to hang out with Charles though. We don't do a whole lot of that kind of thing.
     Sunday brought our church's annual river baptism and picnic. I always enjoy this. Last year Jake, Charles and Wil were baptized and this year my dear friend Crystal's daughter was. And it was her 13th birthday so a special day all around for her family! My friend Shelley's daughter was also baptized. Shelley and I have been friends since we were in the crib room at that same church together and our birthday's are exactly one month apart. Aren't small town lovely? I will have to try and post some pictures because it is really neat to see. We even get tourists taking pictures sometimes (like we do this every Sunday just for the photo ops).
     After I watched a little History Channel (otherwise known as my Sunday nap) Charles and I decided to take all 5 of the Squires Boys down to do a little fishing. Now if you don't recall this is not, according to Noah, my greatest skill in life. It was low tide, there were people there with raw chicken (for crabbing I am told) and someone had been heading shrimp (not that I am on personal terms with the words "heading shrimp" Heyward informed me that was what the smell was). Needless to say, I was on the verge of wishing I was at home watching History. For some reason we decided to forgo the pier and head straight to the boat landing...which just makes me feel that much more secure-what with the floating dock and all. The boys however decided that the boat landing was not good enough and proceeded to head off, waist deep I tell you, into the pluff mud because OBVIOUSLY the fishing is so much better when you can barely move because you are sinking in mud. If you don't live in a place where there is pluff mud let me just tell you- it STINKS! A cross between sewage and dead fish (or headed shrimp...whatever). I took some pictures but they were so far away from the landing that you can barley see them. Not worth the effort to find the camera cord. Now mud is one thing...oysters are another. Wil always finds them. It could be that he is a little hard headed or it could be that he is lacking in the common sense area or it could be that he lost his shoes when he sank to his knees in the pluff mud. I am just saying he got some very deep cuts from some very nasty oysters. The blood that was pouring out of him mixed with the scent of pluff mud was enough to send this non-redneck mom (according to Noah of course) running from the fishing trip.
     To cap off the weekend we are celebrating Columbus Day from home because Noah and Gabe have developed some sort of nasty stomach bug (maybe it was the raw chicken form last night but since only the crabs were eating that I somehow doubt it) and I am a little worried about Wil's nasty cuts. Right now everyone is taking a nap and I plan on spending the next few minutes catching up on some new football terms. Hope ya'll had a good weekend.

A Little Morning Delight

This weather is absolutely heavenly! I am so excited to walk out of the house and not having to wish for a remote starter on my car just so I don't melt when I get in. What would we do without air conditioning? I used to think I would like to be Amish...you know horse and buggies, cute little prayer caps, the simple life, good food...but let's face it I could not live without air conditioning (or a fan that blows on me at night or a cell phone or the internet or a refrigerator or a car or jeans or The Real Housewives of New Jersey). Anyway back to the weather...as I am making my way around town every morning I look out over the water and I am taken away with the beauty of it all. So peaceful! With the weather inspiring me I decided to spend the hour between dropping Wil off to school and work- taking a walk with Gabey Baby. Ok, now I know you are all about to fall on the floor because I am talking actual exercise here. It's ok, I've done it before.

I parked downtown so I wouldn't have to walk to the bridge and got the stroller out. I just knew this was gonna be great! It was bright. It was crisp. It was high tide.

It was also rush hour. And I learned some very good life lessons. And I am going to share them...cause that's how I roll. ( And by the way when  fat, white, late 30 year old women start saying things like because that's how I roll, it is really time to come up with some new lingo...are you hip to that jive?)

Things I Learned on My First Morning of Walking
By Rachel Squires

1. My stroller is growing mold. I love my stroller and this upsets me. Oh the horror...what can I do?
2. When you stand at the stoplight and push the walk button for the crosswalk and the sign says walk and you are in the middle of the crosswalk and you have the right of way because you are in the crosswalk with the walk sign on and it is a state law that all drivers must yield to persons in a crosswalk even if they don't have a walk sign DO NOT ASSUME that anyone turning right to go over the bridge is going to yield for you (or your moldy stroller).
3. Don't know if you know this but bridges tend to go uphill. In a car...not so bad. As a matter of fact you may not even notice...but walking? A WHOLE different story (especially to a girl who considers rocking her baby to sleep exercise...I am just a tad out of shape).
4. I walk a lot faster going downhill than I do going uphill. This may be due to physics or the law of gravity or maybe Brunelli's theory, but I'm just sayin'...downhill I am a STAR!  Uphill not so much!
5. It is always a good idea to check to see if you need to go to the bathroom before walking (uphill) to the top of the bridge-also on that point maybe a large cherry coke from Sonic not a good idea until after the walk. 
6. I really don't like heights especially over water. Bridges may not be for me.
7. The cars pass by you really closely while you are walking (uphill) on the bridge.
8. There are a lot of diesel vehicles in the low country. Remember the crisp cool air? Not so crisp when mixed in with vehicle emissions.
9. 5 out of every 10 drivers are talking on their cell phones while they are driving on a very narrow bridge. Our state should pass a law against that sort of thing (however I would be THE FIRST one to get a ticket because I am always on the phone). Just a side note the other drivers are usually singing, yawning or picking their noses. 
10. Gabey Baby loved taking a walk (uphill) over the bridge and he talked to the water and the boats and the birds and the cars the whole time. I guess we will be doing this again. Come and join us if you would like!

A Picture of the Rat

More pictures to come but this is where I found Noah last night. Wish you could get a better sense of the depth of this tunnel. If you don't know what this is... please check out this link.

The Ho Chi Minh Trail- Little Boy Style

Oh do I love this weather! I am so happy that I am not drenched in sweat when I walk the 50 feet to my car after work. I guess it is just part of living in the deep south and I'll never leave so I shouldn't complain but....the crisp days of October make the sticky days of August seem so far away! So Noah, Wil, Baby Gabey and I have really been taking advantage of the fact that we can no longer fry up an egg in the driveway and are spending quite a bit of time outside. Saturday the boys went outside to play next door on the neighbor's playset (shout out Tina) because well let's face it we don't have one. (You may be asking why we do not have a swing-set since we have so many little boys...it is such a great way to have big muscle movements and the back and forth motion of swinging is so centering...It would be great for the boys. Please refer to my previous post Lessons in Little Boys especially the 9th and 10th items down. Not even a swing set is safe in my yard) Anyway when I went out 10 minutes later to check on them all I saw was head to toe dirt! Yes, they were digging a hole underneath the swing. I freaked out and sent them home because after all destroying other people's property is not one of my favorite things for my children to do. (They however think it is great fun and will always engage in that sort of activity if the situation presents itself) We went into my backyard and spent an hour cleaning up the Sanford and Son junk pile that had somehow appeared in the middle of the yard. I so wish I had a before picture. We are talking snake habitat, health hazard, could end up on an episode of Extreme Hoarders junk pile. I am told it was a fort. I'll take their word for. Noah and Wil were not happy about cleaning it up but it had to go because Gabey Baby may have gone in and never come out. I told them that I was sure they could think of something else to do while they were outside. I should have known.

Gabe and I went into to take a nap (because that's what they say...Always sleep when the baby is napping...I just assume by baby they mean toddler) and when we came back outside we saw that, sure enough, the boys had found something to do while they were outside. I needn't have worried. I took a quick video but I am not sure you can get the full effect.

 

That shovel is completely in the ground. The Viet Cong have invaded my back yard and have begun to dig a new set of Cu Chi Tunnels. Why is it when my boys are quiet and not about to kill each other it is probably because they are doing something that-

                                                          A. they are not allowed to do

                                                          B. they don't want us to know about, like standing on the roof with a   bucket of water waiting for an adult to walk out of the door. Yes, that's been done at the Squires' house.

                                                          C. could get them killed.

They worked all day on this hole. They were so excited about it that they invited Jake and Heyward over to help them dig on Sunday. Digging vertically got a little boring for them so they started digging a horizontal tunnel as well. They have a whole plan that includes escape tunnels in case of collapse. Me, being the Mom of the year 2010, saw nothing wrong with this. As a matter of fact I thought it was cute. I told my hubby to go check it out. He came back in and said..."Rachel, they can't go in that tunnel...it could collapse." Well duh...that's why they have escape tunnels. Apparently the Viet Cong knew how to reinforce a tunnel a little better than the Squires boys.

I guess the next big project will be to fill back in the Cu Chi tunnel in my backyard. It involves moving dirt with the opportunity to shove someone in a half filled in hole so I am assuming the boys will be fine with it.. Maybe then they will take up making booby traps. As long as there is an escape tunnel I guess I'll be ok with it.

The Girlfriend

I know that one day my boys are going start driving. I know that one day my boys are going to have jobs. I know that one day my boys are going to go on trips without me. I know that one day my boys are going to need me less. I know that one day my boys will be going to go off to college.  (we can only hope and I am not sure how in world we are going to pay for it but none the less...) I know that one day my boys will have...GIRLFRIENDS! I am not ready for that and nor should I be. (a little pedestal talk here...children grow up way too fast these days and are exposed to way too much and back in my day I walk to school in the snow, uphill both ways) However the reality is I need to be aware that this will happen and if I have any hope of having any girls in my family, it better happen. (cause you really can't have granddaughters without your son having a woman to begin with)  

Anyway the day will come but that day is not today! Would you like to know how I know it's not today? Well you can bet I'm gonna tell you. It starts with a problem that any homes with preteen children have. It is an issue many of families bare the burden of. It is an issue that many after-school specials have been made about. (well OK they haven't been but they soooo should have) It is BO. Yes that's right. Body Odor. (or if you were a child in the 1980's Home Body odor...get it? Do you have HBO...then take a shower!) Yes that is right. My children stink! No, not stink...they reek! We have discussed it, We have begged, we have pleaded but my children do not like to wear deodorant. It is a problem I admit it. I also admit that every now and then I pull a Mary Katherine Gallagher. I was her for Halloween. Superstar. I digress.

I told Noah last night that he stunk...really bad...more than usual. I told him he needs to wear deodorant everyday! His response?

"I don't want the girlfriend. Sorry."

I am glad I don't have to worry about that anymore.

Sunsets

Tonight as Noah, Wil, Gabey Baby and I were headed home I noticed how beautiful the sky was. I went through  a drive through and drove to the boat landing to spend some special time with my boys. Ok, let's face it I would have driven through the drive through and spent some special time with my recliner if it had been raining. Anyway we get situated and I am excited about making memories for my children. After all this is just one of those moments that I would have remembered from my childhood. Sharing a meal in a special place with my family. Right when we parked two dolphins swam slowly by. There was a beautiful breeze wafting through the open windows. David Crowder Band was softly playing in the background.The boys got out for a few minutes and I snapped a few pics. I am so happy. I wish times like this could last forever. Just me and my boys!



And then reality.


And reality is this...


Wil: How exactly are we supposed to split these 10 chicken fingers. I only got one measly piece of turkey for lunch. I am starving. Noah gets a good lunch... I know because Jake told me (editor's note-EVERYTHING Jake says is the gospel. Just know that...Jake is ALWAYS right). He can choose hamburgers or pizza and I am starving. Do I have to share with Gabe too because I am really hungry. I mean I will share but how many do I have to give him. And do we need to take some home too because I am really hungry.

Noah: Oh my gosh! That chicken by Wil butt! I can't eat that chicken because it by his butt and he butt have germ and that make me sick and you got no han gel. Oh my gosh! Why he put that chicken by he foot. That foot have germ. Now I not eat anything ALL DAY! They only have the chicken at for lunch and that chicken RAW! That chicken raw have germ. That germ make me sick. Now I can't go to school cause that germ from he butt and he foot make me sick and school give me chicken raw. Why we not eat at home? I go home now.

Gabe: Up! Up! Out! OUt! Paci! Eat!

And then I start choking on my chicken...and then I throw up.

Memories that will last a lifetime. That is what I did tonight people. Memories for a lifetime! I wish I was making this stuff up.

Lessons in Little Boys

I have not had much of a chance to post lately, what with the hours upon hours of paperwork that we are inundated with at work. I need to post a picture of the paperwork because you just wouldn't believe it if you saw it. Remember the 152 hour meeting? Yeah- just showed us the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the paperwork. I am a little whiny about the whole situation but it is going to be a HUGE blessing for the center!

Let's talk about blessings...how awesome was our interpreter Sunday morning? I am so happy to say that the church voted Sunday night and BCOB will officially be looking to start a deaf ministry! Did you catch my baby watching EVERY WORD that was signed? Pretty cool!

The Friends of Daufuski meeting was pretty cool too! My heart beats faster when I think about that island and the people who have made a life there! What can we do? How can we help? Keep praying!

When I got home from church Gabe went down for a nap. ( Thank goodness for that because the boy was slap-happy from lack of his afternoon snooze. He was WILD I tell you Wild!) I put on my new from Walmart PJ'S (which I posted on facebook that the devil made me buy because I didn't want to take them off to go to church Sunday morning. He works overtime on Sunday mornings!) and climbed into bed. Before I climbed into bed I noticed that Noah and Jake were around and being on the good side of mischevious. I turned the TV to the History Channel and settled in for a rousing show about hillbillies and moonshiners (I kid you not- the History channel is my first choice in Sunday afternoon tv) and I woke up two hours later with Billy Ray Cyrus telling me that was the story of his home and his people. Very good tv... I recommend it anyday. Anyway I listen for the two oldest Squires boys but unfortunately all is quiet on the home front. Which is not good news in any Squires house. I take a look ourtside and to my surprise it has stormed while I was "watching" the hillbillies. I go to ask Charles if he has seen them but ...he is asleep too. This is really not good. I call "the twin" mom (as Noah calls her) to ask if they were there (which is really kind of humilating since I haven't seen them in over two hours which means they were probably there for two hours) but she said she thought they were all at my house. Oops! Again, have I mentioned that I am 2010 Mom of the Year? So I buckle Gabe into the front seat (please refer to previous sentence) and go around the block to look for them (because heaven forbid I actually walk or do anything that remotely resembles exercise) Sure enough there they are...in the rain...playing football. Oh my soul. Can I just say those two words again...rain...football. I just have one other word...BOYS!

It made me think about some of the lessons I have learned about boys (starting with the one I learned that day...

• If you are not waching them and it is raining...boys will be in the rain. They could be fishing or playing ball or jumping on the trampoline but if you are not there to say no they assume it means yes.
• Boys think nothing of going four days without taking a shower or changing clothes. Especially if they are lucky shorts. Noah has his on right now. When he takes them off they stand in the corner by themselves.
• Boys are born with the ability to make car noises. Test me on this. Give a car to an infant and he can make a car noise.
• If there is a roll of duct tape around boys will find something to tape up. Even if it is their head...even if you about to walk out of the door to school.
• Duct tape and hair- not a good combination.
• Boys will watch turkey hunting on TV.
• Boys think that the three second rule is more like a suggestion.
• Boys think bodily functions are very cool.
• Boys can take apart anything. Even if it is not made to be taken apart.
• Boys can't aways put things back together...even if it is their Wii. (insert deep sigh...or expletive here)
• If it crawls, slithers, hops or scampers boys think it is funny to throw it at you.
• Even at the age of one there are times when a boy just can't be seen giving his mommy a kiss.

Now there are many other things that I could give you the low down on but to be honest, it wears me out just thinking about it. I guess one day I need to accept the fact that the sweet little dresses that I have saved in Gabe's closet (they are the ones that my grandmother made for my mother) will only be worn by a granddaughter.

My boys will make fine fathers one day!